My Kind of Therapy

Like most people my age, I have had my dabblings in one sort of therapy or another. Actually, I have only seen three therapists, and that was over ten years ago. I fancy myself a naturalist, and think that the problems we encounter in life are solved by utilizing our environment. I didn't take too well to the clinical sort of therapy that included seeing a specialist and maybe having medication to go along with it. I believe that having a strong support system of family, friends, and faith are all the tools I need to get through things.

I recently started a new job (which I love), and the first co-worker I met was a lady who volunteers her time with local group therapy programs. I think she works mostly with chemical dependence groups, but her understanding of personal problems spans to other things as well. Anyway, after I started working with her, we immediately hit it off and became fast friends. I have found that I can talk to her about things, and she has common sense solutions for dealing with "stuff." I also find that I am able to listen to her problems, even if having someone to listen is all she needs.

Last week she made me aware of something I need to change in my way of dealing, or reacting, to events that happen in my relationships. I know refer to one of my favorite tomes of philosophy...

151. THINK BEFOREHAND. Today for tomorrow, and even for many days hence. The greatest foresight consists in determining beforehand the time of trouble. For the provident there are no mischances and for the careful no narrow escapes. We must not put off thought till we are up to the chin in mire. Mature reflection can get over the most formidable difficulty. "The pillow is a silent Sybil," and it is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterwards. Many act first and then think later- that is, they think less of consequences than of excuses. Others think neither before nor after. The whole of life should be one course of thought how not to miss the right path. Rumination and foresight enable one to determine the course of life. from "The Art of Worldly Wisdom" by Balthasar Gracian

Sometimes mere habit can betray us. Just last week, a lifelong misgiving of mine manifested itself in one of my personal relationships. I acted before I "thunk it." My body totally betrayed me. Talking this out with my friend at work made me realize that I need to be concious of this. I need to think before I react. Breathe...

This is how I get through my problems. I didn't need to spend a lot of money listening to someone I have just met. I need to have the support of people who want to be in my life and help me, not those who are being paid to. That way, I can turn around and be there for someone else... and they won't have to pay me, either.